This happens every time I leave a Place, “This” being the abrupt switch from griping about menial things (“the weather sucks!” “these people are irrelevant!” “my cat knocked over my coffee AGAIN!”) to the agony of knowing how much you will miss them (“I love rain!” “I sure will miss that Gary guy who stands on the corner and mutters anti-Semitic slurs!” “but Abe is just so CUTE when he knows he’s bein’ naughty!”) It’s the natural order of things, I guess!

Preemptively, too, I’m emotionally readying myself for culture shock (hate this term and find it monolithic and insulting. “Adjustment” is better, maybe?), which sounds stupid when you know that I’m going to a place that I counted as “Home” for a really long time, but really isn’t when you’ve just started to get comfortable in new, very different spaces.

Last time I was in Cairo, I wrote in my journal about what I missed the most about America, and I imagine that a lot of what I will miss in the coming months will be more of the same: wearing short dresses and short shorts, burritos, American music, American Breakfast, good beer, good cheese, good coffee, but also there are bigger things, mostly People and Conversations and (most of all) my Cats. I will miss my back porch, I will miss my neighborhood haunts terribly, I will miss having a mom just across the river….

&C.. You see. There’s not enough time for me to list all the menial things that I have gotten sentimental about (My corner store! My bus route!). The inevitability of movement, mobility is that you’re never really sure just how heavily the costs outweigh the benefits, and that you’re moving so fast that you cannot really ever know.

Though I do hope I will return to a place where I can wear short shorts, short dresses Very Soon. Wearing jeans in 90 degrees will never, ever be optimal.


5 responses to “THINGS I WILL MISS. PART ONE.

  1. It is v. difficult to feel at one’s most stylish when one is precluded from wearing the short dresses/shorts that are the basis of one’s wardrobe. As a new member of the Professional Workforce, I recently realized that school will not start again in the fall for me, and my daring weekday attire must be relegated to nights and weekends. Thus, I eagerly await news (photos) of how you make do.

    Furthermore, congrats, good luck, love you, etc etc.

  2. I just read this and I love it already!! Maybe it will be the makings of a book. Love from your MOM

  3. You are a great writer, and I can relate to the topic! (This is Nancy, your mom’s best childhood friend)

  4. dear girl who lived,

    sometimes i think about the process of leaving and think about how in the olde days, people often didn’t leave a place for their entire life, or if they did leave, they left for good. the process of leaving is like dying, but now that we can communicate with people far away, its like we are ghosts instead of dead, and then when we come back to life, its like this weird process of reanimation, all very dislocating, but also like some kind of exciting alchemy of dislocation, communication, and reanimation….

    i guess what im saying is, you should watch a lot of buffy the vampire slayer, because it addresses these issues, esp. season 3, and 6, which both deal with characters coming back from the dead… but watch it in order.

  5. I was wondering how long it would take you to get back to Cairo. I’m glad it is sooner, rather than later. You may clothe your movements in academicspeak, but, really, you are following your heart. That is a good thing.

    BTW, long cotton skirts are very comfortable in 35+ weather — even jean skirts.

    And I think you might miss the possibility of Sushi Ko just a little bit.

    Love and prayers go with you always! LB

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